Super Nanny

Our plan all along has been to go to the daycare at Warren's work. I visited last summer when I was pregnant and thought the preschool program was great. However, in the past few weeks I have been very seriously panicking about leaving my boy. I mean, with anyone. I have spent every day with him for four months and I cannot imagine not being with him. Don't get me wrong, I love my job. Honestly, my ideal would be to work part time. Which we can't afford and if we found a way, I doubt my boss would let me. So along comes childcare. I was freaking out and sporadically crying about leaving Roman anyways. And I got this image in my head of Roman crying in a crib all alone, as such....


This was breaking my heart. One day I was perusing facebook and saw that Mama's Hip had posted about a new childcare center being opened. It is supporting a national program called Lively Children. I read up on it and was OBSESSED. It is all about organic food, nurturing the baby, free play, home like atmosphere, only TWO babies etc. It was out of the way, but I didn't care. I got an appointment to meet with the director and so super excited. However, when I met with her I was terribly disappointed. She was really nice, but just kind of out of it. I mean she was an intelligent lady, and I think she would love on my baby, but I just couldn't imagine her running a daycare. She did not instill confidence in me and Warren. That said, we have not completely discounted this place, just sort of put it on the back burner.
I emailed my doula Kim, who always knows the right thing to say, and she definitely encouraged me. I decided that my invented crib crying fantasy was no reason to discount our original plan. So I went to Warren's work yesterday to check things out. I left Roman with Warren to be ogled by the nurses and stopped in the daycare. I had a lovely, reassuring chat with the manager. I had a smile on my face as I walked for her to show me the 0-6 month room. When I walked in I could feel my face drop. I had to will myself not to throw up. There were two adults and ten babies, a ratio I was prepared to accept. However, there was not one baby, NOT ONE, being played with. They were the most lifeless looking little things compared to my (and my friends) babies. Two babies were in cribs asleep. Two were in cribs staring at the ceiling. Two were in Boppies staring at a wall. One was getting a bottle without being cradled. A few were in swings staring into space. It was heart wrenching. I fought back tears and tried to get out of there as soon as possible. When I left I texted Warren not to ask how it was, that we would discuss later. I didn't want to cause a scene at his work. But when I walked in, Theresa and Kristen, his closest co-workers had funny looks on their faces and asked how it was. I just started crying. Kristen hugged me and I just cried.
Obviously, I got my ish together and moved on. So now we are looking for a nanny. We have a job posting on both sittercity.com and care.com. We have had one applicant I am very interested in already. So wish us luck!